I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
