If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
