Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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