I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
