here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I know her cup size but not her name....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
