bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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