I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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