I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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