That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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