Pants 0. Shit 1.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize