Everything about him screamed your future.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
