I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
