dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize