Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish you could order shots online.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
