She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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