Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
