Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
