.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
