I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
