note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
MIDGETS
????
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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