Its about making memories worth repressing
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
