Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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