drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just invented taco cereal.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
