its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
