I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
barbara walters just said penis...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
All I want is dick and wine.
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