Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
