everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize