I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
