My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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