Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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