Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize