I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
