Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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