Porn is love you can see.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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