No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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