Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
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Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
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I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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