Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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