I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
