3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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