At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
