Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
