Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize