So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
