Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
