btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
