yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
