Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize