Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Small penises have feelings too.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize