she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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