I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.