JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
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The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink