So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking