It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
