is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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