and i looked up. we had an audience...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
