hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
